Sep 10, 2011

When Life Gets To Be A Little More Than You Can Stand....Kneel.

Ever have one of those days or weeks when you just can't find your way? When you forget why you are here, what you are called too, who you are? 
You lose focus, you tire out, maybe you just don't see the point?
When life gets to be a little more than we can stand.....

I will admit that this is rarely the place I find myself in.
If you ask me if I am a glass half full or half empty person, I will tell you how happy I am to have a glass and that it is overflowing.
But....this week was hard for me.

Maybe because we left our kids, 700 miles away. I have no desire to hold their hands through college. That's not my goal. 
I think it was the reality that we were driving far... from everything, from everyone.
To my new reality.... my new community, my new home.

And so I struggled for a couple of days. 
I struggled to find the joy and my purpose.
My purpose is something that is going to take some time in this new community.
I knew that .. but I needed to wrestle with it for a bit.
So I let myself.

Then God showed me some truths ....

I really like my new community.
 I really like my new home.
I really, really like my husband. I have missed him.
We have fun we are 12 yr old kids sometimes. 
I like the church I am going to attend tomorrow.
I like the people I am meeting, at the grocery store, the card shop, my puppies new vet.
People are ridiculously nice here...
and I have to stop telling them that.
They look at me like I am weird.

God knows that ........I miss the people I left behind.
Life will never be the same... I am realizing that, like a kick to the head. It still shocks you, even though you knew it would hurt.
I look forward to seeing my friends. We will visit and we will continue to love and care for one another.
That's the type of friends I have..... because I have very good taste in friends....
There is a glue that binds us together.

God showed me...... that I needed to trust Him with the hard part, the transition.
 This transition that I would like to rush through. That's my personality. Sweep the pain under the rug... and stomp on it.
Maybe I can flatten it out so it feels smooth and I wont trip over it.
Problem is it keeps bunching up and makes the rug all lumpy. I trip and fall and become bruised.
Not a good look, for me or the rug.

So, when I can't stand anymore, I kneel.... and I pray.
To Kneel..... to submit, to show reverence.
I recognize what this is all about.
I look to the One who gave me this life, glass overflowing and so full of deliciousness that I can't drink it fast enough. It is bottomless and my favorite flavor... Joy.

The flavor of Joy. The flavor of the life I have been given, grace filled, beautiful, rich in His mercy. Blessings a thousand times more that I deserve... but He blesses anyway. He loves me....
And I kneel... to thank Him, for all of it.

I see with eyes He gives, because He loves me that much. 
I must kneel and thank Him for all He has done for me.

When life gets to be more than you can stand, kneel. Pray.
Give it all to Him. He can handle it. He is the only One who can fix us, heal our hurts and show us the future He has prepared for each one of us.

What are you waiting for? He will lift you up.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

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