Sep 12, 2013

Happy 21 Hawkeye

When it comes to thoughts on marriage... They say it's not about finding the right person, but being the right person.
Twenty one years have taught me much... especially this.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love, many times, always with the same person."
Mignon McLaughlin

Twenty one years ago today I stood under a grand oak tree at a lovely Historic Pennsylvania Inn, surrounded by rolling emerald lawns. I said some words to a man I did not yet understand.
 A man who was complicated and bright, who would bring deeper joy into my life than I imagined.

I had been wounded to my core, losing a love that was rooted deeply by years of building a life, family, trust.
It was stolen from me, from us.
I was left holding our beautiful, precious daughter... who I would thank God for each morning.

That day under the oak tree, this man married a woman who would make him wonder, shudder and lose his temper many days.
She would push him to the edge and sometimes he would rethink his choice of a mate.
He would remind himself he wanted an independent woman, who was strong and sometimes unreasonable (he did not ask for that.)

That day under the oak tree he became a husband.
That day he became a father.
A year later he had a son.
He was made for these jobs.
He has never looked back, but embraced us and loved us hard.

I'm blessed as I have been loved deeply, appreciated well, and given free reign to grow as intended by God.

I've been given much.
I've given up much.
I've been put first.
I've taken second.
I've had my own way.
I've given him his.
I've been selfish.
He has has been kind.
We have traded places.

We've learned what pushes buttons. We've decided mostly to leave those buttons alone.
We know what the other person is thinking and is going to say.
We are similar, yet...
we are different.
I don't want to know all the details and mostly I don't want to share them all.
He does, in great detail.
I usually cut him off. He rolls his eyes... Remembering
I'm bored easily.
He is not.

I trust him with our marriage.
If I found out differently, it would be my biggest disappointment yet.
I might lose faith in mankind.
I trust him with my life.
I trust him with our children's lives.

He is my rock,
After my Heavenly Father.
He reminds me who controls this world and that in the end, He is all we have and all we need.
He comforts me in my sorrow, and reminds me of the Truths we both hold dear.

He is my protector, my sweet companion, my partner in crime. My love.
He makes fun where there are dark clouds.
His glass usually overflows.
His laughter is loud and still surprises me and
sometimes I still see the 12 yr old boy and it makes me smile.

We make grand plans and then later realize we are not so grand so we may need to rethink.
We dream of the things we will do, the places we will go, the adventures we will take.

At the end of the day, the plans may not seem grand, a walk with our pups, a game of backgammon,
with hubster keeping score.
We are competitive with each other to a ridiculous level, but not others.

Today I am grateful for the rich mercies of our Heavenly Father.
He has blessed me beyond measure with this man, this life. 

Happy Anniversary Hawkeye.
Everyday is grand with you by my side.

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