As I sit down in front of the screen to open my blog, I spot my email. I see The New Yorker magazine my husband ordered for my birthday.
When he told me, I pointed to the week old Sunday papers I had not read yet. He laughed and said, "You are a writer, you need to read this."
Reality #1. I read, therefore I do not write.
Reality #2. The more I read, the more I realize I have nothing to write.
Agh, the dangers of not remaining totally ignorant.
Still my fingers continue clicking on emails, finding their way to the Festive Holiday Pillows from Kings Lane. If I continue down this rabbit trail, I will purchase six reindeer candles, balsam kindling for the wood burning fireplace I do not have and a fake fur vest, that I do not need.
Living the American dream... it's hard to stay focused.
Yesterday I had breakfast with two wise women. We challenged each other to be vulnerable. To let God pull us towards Him, knowing the stretch would feel uncomfortable at times. To share real hearts, fears, challenges, directions we feel God is pulling us.
We are women who are at a crossroads in life. We have the power, time and opportunity to be game changers. Will we... or will we go to Nordstroms and forget all this uncomfortable stuff.
We each have opportunities with new ministries we have spoken yes to. A prison ministry and Known_Nashville, which I began in April.
As we shared, two famous (very) actors/singers sat on either side of us. No one approached them, made eye contact or acknowledged their presence.
We all knew they were present...
Living the dream... American style. Some days it's hard to stay focused.
I go to a Bible study on Tuesdays. It's led by a women I could listen to all. Day. Long. She is a bad ass, single mama with an adopted daughter, that she is over the moon about.
She hits me between the eyes each week and as much as I want to be her friend, the chances of that happening are pretty slim, and that's okay.
She is doing what God puts in front of her and so am I... when I'm not thinking about being her friend. JK. Years ago, my thoughts would have been that. Now, I am just so pleased with her. She is a game changer.
She is a sister, who teaches truth, shares wisdom and I am thankful to be in the presence of these women on a weekly basis.
She shared a recent trip to Greece. The purpose was support and encouragement for refugees entering the country.
She wept as she shared the faces of these precious people they greeted, in the cold, black night. They danced with children, handed out care packages with diapers and warm clothes.
They asked if they could pray with the women.
No one said no.
Sweet, broken, Muslim women.
When we are broken, no one turns down prayer. When we have watched our loved ones drown, half our group survive the journey, we accept prayer... and we beg it to be true.
This woman is forever broken from this experience, and to hear it straight from her lips I have the opportunity to be changed. Or not.
It's my choice as I live my American Dream.
You see I am consumed with conversations regarding red cups. And if Blake and whats her name are really a couple. Trumps hair, his foolish words and before you know it, I know more about things that have no substance, rather than anything connected to the kingdom of God and eternity. It is all foolishness and I eat it up.
We continue this right through the church doors. We worry about the wrong things... because anything that isn't about building relationships with others, sharing this amazing Jesus we follow, is well... foolishness.
Each day my heart pleads for this ministry we are growing in Nashville. The weight of it some days bears down on me, making me doubt if we are enough. If I am enough.
When I look up, I am reminded of Who holds it and Who holds me.
I don't have to be enough.
Who began the ministry and Who knows the plans He has for it.
He is enough.
My roll, leaderships roll, the beautiful faces that show up each month, who volunteer, who come empty and hungry, who come full and ready to pour out.... our call is the same.
To trust the One who loves us. The One who knows our name.
The One who takes care of every detail and promises to provide every need.
When I remember this I am satisfied and I am undone, by a God so big, who loves SO much.
In these moments I see the path open wide that God has allowed me to walk.
Whether in Bible study on a Tuesday morning, sitting in a prison alongside women worshipping, or these beautiful souls who gather on the third Tuesday of the month, because they believe being Known and loved matters.
The opportunity to grow among these communities, being undone by what God opens my eyes to in these moments.
I'm living the Dream because I can think of nothing else that can satisfy my soul, that is apart from God's heart. He is in this because He... is in the business of transformation and every soul I see has the opportunity to be transformed...
No matter what.
Let's live this dream together friend!