Closing Time...

Hey Friends! 

It seems it's closing time, or rather moving time so join me at my new address...

thegirlnamedale.squarespace.com

yup... just one d.

it's okay. 

Forgive Me...

                                 

  January arrived and I had no word... which was so fine. The world would continue if I failed to find a word for the year.

I didn't really want a word anyway. I was tired of words... a couple years of words and I was like... this is too hard, first I have to remember the word, then I have to pursue the word and then I have to live it.

 Exhausting, also the whole point of the word.

I'm jesting of course, but not really.

Last year I chose Be and I got busy... weird, right?
See?! Stop picking words... they make no sense.

Somehow it worked.
I did stop more often to breathe, smell the flowers, coffee, whatever they say we should smell.

When you choose a word the opposite of action, be prepared to breathe it in and wait on God. To be  honest, it was a struggle.

Good things came from Be. Known Nashville was born. 
Now bursting at the seams finding it's purpose, gathering women to come close, grow community... through our monthly gathering, dinners, coffee, book clubs and small groups that begin this month.

It's nothing and everything I imagined!
I did not put walls around it, instead held it up to God and said.. "Here you go."
Of course He handed it to us first, His creation.... we simply hold it loosely and yet
desire, pray and beg it to go deep in joy, laughter, praise and desire for Him.

Along the way, there were bruises, mostly to the heart. If you want to see your faults, weakness, the ugly you try to cover up, start a ministry. I'm grateful because it forced me to look in the mirror. I had to choose grace and humility... daily.
Surprise... not my natural go to.
Yet, it was an intentional, wonderful place to grow. Proof that we never stop learning or making mistakes.
You learn to forgive yourself and move on.
That is hard for me. I beat myself up daily. Hmm, I bet you can relate to that.
Let's just stop right here, prick our fingers, become blood sisters and quit it!
You are forgiven! I love you! You are amazing!
Really, I would say that to you if you were sitting here with me at my kitchen table.

Forgiveness.
A complicated word that requires a simple choice. 

  Forgiveness offered to me, from God... and because of His forgiveness, we in turn offer it to others with open hands and not, "but you, did, said, caused, felt, made, you get the idea... and I'll never forget it even though I forgive you (kinda, sorta)!"

Good Lord, we can at least try to forget. 
God tells us He does exactly that in Hebrews 10:17, Micah 7:19, Jeremiah 31:34 and Isaiah 43:25.
There are probably more verses, knock yourself out.

This week provided two conversations with women, one in her late 70's, the other early 80's.
Seriously, they can take all of us down.
They were bad asses in Bobbie socks in their day.

They are also proof of Dave Kraft's words, in Leaders Who Last. He says you hit your spiritual prime in your 70's.

I imagine there are a few per-requisite courses to be taken before arrival into prime time. 

 Grace 101, Forgiveness 101, Mercy 101...

and a few others.
Like the N.Y. lottery touts, You have to be in it, to win it.
These babes been in it for awhile.
They got it locked down.

It's not a test in the Biblical knowledge you take in... it's how much Jesus you pour out.  
These two can pour like Niagara Falls after a spring rain.

They are vibrant, outgoing, intentional and wise. Both active in their communities, volunteering wherever they see a need.
 Both have experienced great loss.
They do not know each other.

One is my mom. 

The other ... "the mom in love" of a sweet friend.

Words to me went like this...

"Remember this.... The will of man can delay God's purpose, but it can never defeat it."
Preach it sista!

She followed it up with,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Peace.... Sign me up sista!

Intentional words passed on to me, wrapped in wisdom, for a purpose.

Words from women who have walked hard paths, and leaned in to their God. 
Because of their faithfulness, I can rub against their aged, yet broad shoulders, and lean in.

My challenge to you and me this year.... look at the people we do life with. What do they look like when you think of grace, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, compassion?

Maybe another word for this year is - WHO.

Who builds you up, shares truth, challenges you, forgives you?

Do they do the same for all others, no matter the bruise received?

If you want to know who you are becoming, look at the people around you. 

Who do you Forgive?

Who Forgives You?

Choose well. Choose forgiveness. Choose who.
It's your choice.

The Power of Words, Stepping up, Stopping Evil...

 

The other night I was part of a panel discussion for Known_Nashville. A gathering of beautiful   whole hearted women.

One of the questions was, What breaks your heart?

My first thought was bullying, yet that was not my answer. The question for that answer would have to be, "What pisses me off more than anything?!

Bullying. Bullies. Hateful people.

My first memory of being involved in this was the school bus in elementary school. My brother a year older, and taller, found himself in the middle of the aisle, face to face with a punk. I have no recollection of the kid or reason they were about to go at it, but I remember inserting myself in the middle and telling him in 1970's lingo, "To step off!"
He did... or maybe it was our stop. 

From an early age I stood up for the underdog. I had been the underdog a couple of times and I remember how lonely it felt. I didn't want others to feel that way. Simple.

Later, in my twenties, I was in a bar with my brother and a similar instance occurred. I again inserted myself in between the two men and repeated in 1980's lingo to "Step off!"

I have no idea what my brother thought either time, he is very chill. Clearly I am not. 

I also drink the sibling juice of, I can talk any &%#@ I want about my brother, but you, young buck cannot!

Last summer, there was an incident on the fourth of July. This one included some extremely inebriated people who did not want us to park on the public street, because they were setting off fireworks in the public street. First we ignored them, but when the rockets started to red glare at the bumper of our car, we turned around to face the music drunks.

Quickly, ugly words flew from their mouths towards my son, and fists were raised. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911 and guess what... Yes, I inserted myself between said drunk and my son.

 I told him in direct words, "Enough! Step Off!"
It was a thing.

My main concern was protecting my 21 yr old son from any type of incident that could harm him.

My son, stood tall, face to face with drunken man, yet never uttered an ugly word or raised a hand. 

I was proud of him and somewhat amused that I still had it and would go the distance with the drunken woman in the mismatched Hee Haw outfit.

Luckily the always fabulous Metro PD arrived and we moved on.

My track record shows I do not back down from a bully. Yet these are harmless bullies. They are not IN your life, but merely a temporary inconvenience.

This fall my husband walked (true story) six miles from his hotel to a work meeting held simultaneously with the Kansas City World Series parade! This moment was hard enough for my husband, a Mets fan. But to be physically inserted in the hundreds of thousands of fans, trying to arrive at his meeting, suit jacket over shoulder, drenched in sweat with a blistered heal.  

He shared with me a couple comments people made to him as he was maneuvering the crowd. They assumed he was trying to get in front of them as they were mapping out their spots. They assumed he had bad intentions.

In fact, he was trying to weave through the madness to arrive on the other side, where his meeting would take place. 

Uber, you really let us down.

Sometimes people don't want you to arrive on the other side. They just want you out. So they scream lies to stop your progress.

They are bullies.

Sometimes you cannot escape them because they live on your street, go to your school, work in the cubicle next to you or even... go to church with you. 

Adult bullies usually bully with their mouth.

They puff up their chests and they spew.

They spew hatred, half truths and innuendo, hoping some of it will stick.

So what do we do?

As adults, we usually look on, mouths agape. 

But mostly we do what kids do. Nothing.

We watch. Sometimes we hope for the best, but always protecting ourselves first.  

This is natural and wise. 

But I can't buy into that.

 I don't believe we were made to be bystanders, rubberneckers of disaster. We are called to be First Responders, defenders, protectors... friend.

When I was asked that question, What breaks your heart"... my answer was, People living in fear. Afraid of relationships, new ideas, jobs, adventures.

People afraid to live.

I wear a key around my neck that shouts, Fearless.

Does this mean I am immune to fear?! 

No. A solid no... but, I do not stay there. I do not live in fear.

 I live in freedom.

It means this...

I trust in the One who created me out of the dust. The One who holds my hand when the bully comes after me or mine. 

The One I can trust with my future because He has protected me in the past and His track record is stellar. 

When I walk through the dark valley and the path is rocky and unfamiliar,  I know He is with me, sharpening me, and will bring me forth as gold. 

So today, what breaks your heart? What makes you so mad that you YOU are willing to stand up and say,

 "No more!?" 

Use your words, your freedom of fear, your power that comes from good, what breaks your heart...

  go make a difference for someone or something that matters today.

He's got this!

And I will always have your back!

Now, go kick some bully %$#!

Be Radical... in Peace.

I love my family, my country, my neighbors... but I cannot live in fear. Jesus tells us 365 times in His Word "Fear not". A word for each day. 

"I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But be brave! I have defeated the world!"  John 16:33

Be Brave - Fear Not.

My worst fear is not a radical attacking me or persecuting me. 

My worst fear is me not showing the radical love of Jesus to my neighbors. 

Who are my neighbors?

This feels like a moment of decision. Am I a Christ follower first or an American?

This is not my home.

What Is Your Harvest This Fall?

Growing up in New York State, within a stones throw of New Jersey, I should have pondered harvest. The word harvest conjured up pilgrims in my head. Really.

We were physically close to that history so it was a big deal... regardless of truth or fiction.

These two beautiful states rank in the top six in the country for corn, dairy, and tomato production. 

They celebrate harvest. 

There is nothing like an ear of buttery Jersey corn, or a slice of sweet, ripe tomato from same soil. 

People unfamiliar with New Jersey think of Housewives and those shore people. They are real... for sure, but it's also called the Garden State. 

When we moved our young family to Champaign, Illinois I thought we hit the motherlode of corn.  We did in many ways...  corn not being one of them. 

Illinois corn is mainly feed corn. That fact ended summers filled with corn on the cob, tomatoes and New York pizza, but that is another story. 

We grew tomatoes, but they never seemed quite as sweet as back east. 

Maybe it was the memories of my grandparents garden or my husband planting sixty tomato plants, from seeds, the year we married... and my grandmother walking the rows, shaking her head. 

The harvest would not be good without the thinning of the sprouting shoots. 

It was a bumper crop (farmer talk) that year and I asked that same sweet grandmother to teach me to can. 

Sixty quarts of tomatoes were "put up" (canned) that fall. 

I learned what Harvest felt like when I got my hands dirty in the soil, warmed from the prepared canning jars, my face often times splattered with bubbling tomatoes.

Living in the fertile midwest, I learned to appreciate the harvest in a literal way, often reminded of the fragility of our food sources dependence on weather.

I've watched Harvest many times since then, in the flowers we would choose carefully, planting, feeding, watering and then waiting. In friendships, neighborhoods, churches. In my children growing from little ones whom I read Sam I Am, and Little House, Big Woods, to adults who create and accomplish beautiful things... a rich harvest.  

I missed moments of harvest, too busy to see. 

Sometimes my harvest was rich, other times I watched it wither on the vine, unable to feed or water it enough to regain its life. Then winter would arrive, the crop dead. Thankfully spring always returned with new opportunities to begin again.

Last week I was invited to Creative Lectio. Nita Andrews is the beautiful woman who created this space. She opened by sharing her words of the The Harvest.

If these words were all I heard Friday morning, it would have been enough. 

My heart was calmed, my soul rested in that time. It had been a hard week. When we take the time to be still... lean in and listen, beautiful things grow inside our souls.

"A day’s harvest

A season’s harvest

The harvest of your life

Harvest is a state of mind as much as it is a literal field that you planted two seasons prior and must gather in.

Harvest is being conscious of where you are making purchase. Purchase of seeds, purchase of resources like sun, nutrients, and then collecting water.   Harvest is making purchase of a field one yard at a time. Slowly and deliberately. 

Harvest is stopping in the whirlwind of growth and asking:

Is this the crop I intended? 

Is this the yield I expected? 

Is this bringing the joy of hearing Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”?

Harvest is taking stock of the larder for the winter.

 Harvest is naming your surplus and sharing it with the needy. 

Harvest is leaving the corners of your acre untouched so the needy can nobly and anonymously be fed.   

Harvest is

a mindset.

Therefore, Harvest can happen at 10 pm for ten minutes (the conscious examen of your day)

on Sunday during the Prayers of the People

at midnight on New Year’s Eve

on April 15th as you hit send on your tax return.

Harvest is every graduation.

Harvest is every new birth and baby shower.

Harvest is a first cousin to regret and gritty trust. Harvest is being out of control regarding weathers.

Harvest is rejoicing and bringing in the sheaves.

Harvest is Jesus weeping over Jerusalem as he stood on the Mt. of Olives— because the harvest was in ruins. 

(an event known as Flevit super illam in Latin).

Harvest is Jesus saying, “Today you will be with me in paradise” to a thief.

Harvest is John being commissioned to care for Mary at the foot of the cross. 

Harvest is the big catch of fish after zero on your own.

Harvest is your tears kept in a bottle and your songs being recorded.

Harvest is standing in a field of stunted and dried out corn stalks as far as the eye can see.

 Harvest is stopping with a plan to see the field. To see what's there.

Harvest is seeing pew after pew full of worshipping families.

Harvest is seeing pew after pew of empty seats. Harvest is stopping with a plan to see the pews. To see what's there.

Harvest is the day the papers are served.

Harvest is the day you celebrate the 40 years of being married.

 A harvester is not made by John Deere, It is a man or woman made in God’s image that is willing to ask a question.

A question that requires courage.

What am I making with the raw materials I have been given?

Harvest is about something much bigger than numbers.

It is stories told around campfires of what life became because you were here and naming the ways life would have 

been impoverished if you hadn’t been here.

Harvest is giving alms in secret and knowing a private harvest of hope that erupted from your heart.

Harvest is an exhausted parent reading to a child at nine o'clock at night.

Harvest is writing till your vision blurs--Planting and plucking words until the lines sing

with the beauty of language.

Harvest is putting your thoughts in an envelope with a stamp to say you remember gifts given.

Harvest is having an abundance for October and canning a portion of it for February. 

Harvest is when you pop the waxed seal open in February and say “thank you”

Harvest is building relational capital and keeping it secure before you leave your day job.

Harvest is bringing all of your friends up on stage with you.

Harvest is weeping over the fullness of ice wine.

Harvest is saying, “next year” when the birds ate every grape in your vineyard. 

Harvest is saying. We will rebuild."  after a flood

Harvest is a photo album of 12 years of school pictures.

Harvest is complex management of faith, fear, risk and generosity.

Wealth management can be harvest —but most of the time, it is a fear-based clutching of bottom line number 

 socked away and out of sight for a rainy day.

Harvest stands in the rain and laughs."

Nita's words hit me deep.
Then...
Friday got harder and darker as the day went on. Tragedy struck our world again. Truth is, tragedy strikes daily in our world, but this happened in a country we were willing to pay attention to. One that mattered.
The opportunities for harvest are all around us...
 I have a choice as to who my harvest will embrace. So do you. So does the world. What will we sow? What will we harvest? Who will we embrace and who will we say no to?

I want to stand in the rain and laugh, fearless because I know Who holds me and calls me by name. My desire is for a rich Harvest, bountiful, overflowing with goodness and mercy.
Unafraid.

Living The Dream... American Style

As I sit down in front of the screen to open my blog, I spot my email. I see The New Yorker magazine my husband ordered for my birthday. 

When he told me, I pointed to the week old Sunday papers I had not read yet. He laughed and said, "You are a writer, you need to read this." 

Reality #1. I read, therefore I do not write. 

Reality #2. The more I read, the more I realize I have nothing to write.

 Agh, the dangers of not remaining totally ignorant.

Still my fingers continue clicking on emails, finding their way to the Festive Holiday Pillows from Kings Lane. If I continue down this rabbit trail, I will purchase six reindeer candles, balsam kindling for the wood burning fireplace I do not have and a fake fur vest, that I do not need. 

Living the American dream... it's hard to stay focused.

Yesterday I had breakfast with two wise women. We challenged each other to be vulnerable. To let God pull us towards Him, knowing the stretch would feel uncomfortable at times. To share real hearts, fears, challenges, directions we feel God is pulling us. 

We are women who are at a crossroads in life. We have the power, time and opportunity to be game changers. Will we... or will we go to Nordstroms and forget all this uncomfortable stuff.

 Stay focused.

We each have opportunities with new ministries we have spoken yes to. A prison ministry and Known_Nashville, which I began in April. 

As we shared, two famous (very) actors/singers sat on either side of us. No one approached them, made eye contact or acknowledged their presence. 

We all knew they were present...

Living the dream... American style. Some days it's hard to stay focused.

I go to a Bible study on Tuesdays. It's led by a women I could listen to all. Day. Long. She is a bad ass, single mama with an adopted daughter, that she is over the moon about. 

She hits me between the eyes each week and as much as I want to be her friend, the chances of that happening are pretty slim, and that's okay.

She is doing what God puts in front of her and so am I... when I'm not thinking about being her friend. JK. Years ago, my thoughts would have been that. Now, I am just so pleased with her. She is a game changer.

She is a sister, who teaches truth, shares wisdom and I am thankful to be in the presence of these women on a weekly basis.

She shared a recent trip to Greece. The purpose was support and encouragement for refugees entering the country.

She wept as she shared the faces of these precious people they greeted, in the cold, black night. They danced with children, handed out care packages with diapers and warm clothes. 

They asked if they could pray with the women.

 No one said no.

Sweet, broken, Muslim women.

When we are broken, no one turns down prayer. When we have watched our loved ones drown, half our group survive the journey, we accept prayer... and we beg it to be true.

This woman is forever broken from this experience, and to hear it straight from her lips I have the opportunity to be changed. Or not. 

It's my choice as I live my American Dream.

You see I am consumed with conversations regarding red cups. And if Blake and whats her name are really a couple. Trumps hair, his foolish words and before you know it, I know more about things that have no substance, rather than anything connected to the kingdom of God and eternity. It is all foolishness and I eat it up.

We continue this right through the church doors. We worry about the wrong things... because anything that isn't about building relationships with others, sharing this amazing Jesus we follow, is well... foolishness.

Each day my heart pleads for this ministry we are growing in Nashville. The weight of it some days bears down on me, making me doubt if we are enough. If I am enough.

When I look up, I am reminded of Who holds it and Who holds me. 

I don't have to be enough.

Who began the ministry and Who knows the plans He has for it. 

He is enough.

My roll, leaderships roll, the beautiful faces that show up each month, who volunteer, who come empty and hungry, who come full and ready to pour out.... our call is the same.

To trust the One who loves us. The One who knows our name.  

The One who takes care of every detail and promises to provide every need. 

When I remember this I am satisfied and I am undone, by a God so big, who loves SO much.

In these moments I see the path open wide that God has allowed me to walk. 

Whether in Bible study on a Tuesday morning, sitting in a prison alongside women worshipping, or these beautiful souls who gather on the third Tuesday of the month, because they believe being Known and loved matters.

The opportunity to grow among these communities, being undone by what God opens my eyes to in these moments. 

I'm living the Dream because I can think of nothing else that can satisfy my soul, that is apart from God's heart. He is in this because He... is in the business of transformation and every soul I see has the opportunity to be transformed...

 No matter what. 

Let's live this dream together friend!

Shaken... and Stirred.

 There are days...

You find yourself shaking.

Then the stirring comes... if you allow it.

One more school shooting. People pick up their fight for/against gun control. Meanwhile there are families shattered, parents crumpled on the floor, while we rant over our rights.

The pictures surface of children crying, hungry, afraid, parents fearing each moment as they try to begin a new life. They want peace, a little safety. 

Similar to what we expect in America...

yet so different.

The pursuit of happiness. We demand it.

They have not asked for 401k's, two weeks vacation or an upgrade to a suite instead of a double. 

They want peace... and a safe sleep for their babies.

At the end of a day I think of conversations of financial, emotional, spiritual battles... I look up and some days I wonder. I wonder why? Why, oh God do we battle, suffer, fear... and there are days I wonder what you think of us? I know you love us. That will always be enough.

Some days, the pain I see... my heart feels like lead. Heavy and cold and hard. 

I drive home in darkness last night and I watch the young boy in the hoodie duck between the church building and the parsonage. He saw my lights. Did he wonder who I was, the police maybe? He takes the path of least resistance. Be still in the shadows until the lights move on. 

I don't fear him. I fear for him.  

I repeatedly look outside. Is he home yet or out in this wet, cold night?

Home can be hard.

I don't know him, but I know others like him. They believe they will prove themselves on the streets with the very things that could kill them. 

His life is so different then the boy on my couch, yet they stand a few yards apart. 

How do we bridge this gap?

How do we heal this ugly scar in our neighborhoods?

I think of the messages shared between women, coming together... surrounding a sister who is walking a hard path. The willingness to share ourselves makes my heart pump again and I know... deep down, there is still hope. 

I look at these women coming out of the shadows, speaking up and out and for and with... and I am humbled. Humbled by the depth of courage and willingness to be known.

My door bell rings because God knows. A friend walks in and we share thirty minutes of gratitude in what God has done in us and for us over the years and then we remind each other of our calling. She pushes me to keep on. We know we must continue, never quit.

I am grateful. God knew. 

My heart stirs.

 

In The Reason For God Tim Keller quotes C.S. Lewis, "They say of some temporal suffering,

 "No future bliss can make up for it,' 

not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory." 

I read this over and over... and I know it is true. I have lived it. I believe. 

Yes, there is hope, always hope.  

We are brave. We are warriors. We are conquerors.

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

Maybe the key is to keep digging into the Word. To be vulnerable and even though my heart will break, trust that He will mend it. 

His Word will become bread and wine and life to my soul. 

The heart stirs.

As I shed my pride of rights, desires and self love.... I may see that conquerors and warriors and the brave, grow strong because of Him. It is His strength that grows us into David and Esther and those who are not afraid of being shaken and stirred.

Psalm 138:7

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me.

There will be days where we are overcome with what He opens our eyes to see. Don't shut your eyes in these moments. He is preparing us to be used, to see what many will not see. Be over-comers, instead of overcome.

Trust Him and in that trust recognize He will provide all you need. 

Wait for Him and let Him do it. Not you.

In these moments.... Be still and know that He is God. (Psalms)

When we find our selves shaken and stirred, when He stirs that inner longing that wakens our soul, and reminds us that though it may break our hearts... He will be there. Grab a hold of it and never, ever let it go. It is what you were created for.

Choose It... Before It Chooses You.

 

I chased It for years. I'd like to think if I did It over again I would change It. But I'm afraid history might repeat itself.

I wasn't sure what It was, but It wasn't where I was. It was usually the next thing.

It was more. It was better. It was fortune. It was popular.

It was... well you get It. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

It was UNGODLY.

Hear me, I'm not talking about chasing a dream... think more like a dog chasing its tail. 

I wasted time looking for It when

I should have been looking for Who.

The One who had plans for me, people to grow me. People to love. The One who had His best for me? The One who knew the days in front of and behind me. 

 The One who was always calling out to me. 

The One I mostly ignored. 

Feel me?

You have an It...  think about It.

It's that thing you wrap yourself in, the facade, the way you present yourself, the thing you chase after, worship... that holds no eternal value. 

Yet It holds your heart captive.

 It's your idol.

You know what It is. 

You might hide It from others but that doesn't change anything. 

It's still running your life.

John 13:35. "By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another"... instead of the word Christian I see disciple. And I ask myself... am I?

I think I found my It.

Sister, only One thing deserves to be your It. 

Love God. Love People.  

What does the Lord require of you...

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.

Micah killed it!

I don't like the word Christian. Jesus followers never called themselves Christians... the other guys did. It wasn't a compliment. 

It still isn't unfortunately.

The word Christian is broad. Good and bad come to mind with that word.

I will leave it there.

Disciple though...  one who follows, learns from, then shares what they learn.

The original disciples died horrible deaths. All but one is the way the story goes. The odds are in your favor you won't share their story. At least their ending.

Stoned, hung, martyred, flayed open, brains beat out... and the one who hung himself after handing over his Lord. 

Then John, exiled to Patmos. Don't think Greek Island with white washed buildings, donkeys waiting to take you to the bottom of the steps. Think hot, lonely and hungry. 

Patmos means, my killing. It was a sterile land unable to produce anything. It was fruitless and yet God brings John the book of Revelation on that barren island.

Don't miss how God works.

  

For those of us who live in America I'm gonna bet the farm we probably won't face this if we call ourselves disciples of Jesus.

But how do we live?

Do we live like disciples or wishy washy, luke warm talking the talk but not really walking it folk?

Many of us live our lives in constant crisis, searching for It.

You're broke as a joke, but you keep buying. 

You date losers because you think that's the best you deserve.

You repeatedly say yes, when your life is crying for boundaries.

NO is not a four letter word. 

Count.

You have a limited number of days to shine your light on someone, so choose well... or it will be chosen for you.

You call yourself Christian because you surround yourself with people by that name. You go to church with them, you do life with them... heck, you party with them.

But are we missing something? Are we changing into the likeness of Jesus, in our words, actions, choices? 

If we are repeating the same things we did before we chose to wrap ourselves in the Christian snuggy... maybe we need a time out. 

Maybe check ourselves for a hot second. 

Something is missing.

Something big, vital, obvious. 

Just for a minute, let's exchange the word Christian for Disciple.

Disciple... One who accepts and assists in spreading the teachings of another.

A follower, a doer, a pupil, adherent to the teachings, dedicated.

Choose disciple...

How does your life change? 

What do you exchange the It for?

Father, Counselor, Messiah. God of heaven and earth.

Christ needs to be our It. Our Who.

Good Lord... no really, Good Lord, help us.

Help us see the truth. Help us choose well and draw boundaries in our lives. 

Throw out the old ways and live in ridiculous grace and mercy towards one another. 

Love as Jesus loves us. 

Love unrelentingly today.

Want to make a difference for the One you claim as Lord?

Be a servant.

Yup... humble yourself and be a servant. 

And be quiet about it. 

 Let's be freedom fighting women who fight passionately for one another. 

Let's break the chains of sin in our lives. Let's lift each other up, always wanting and believing the best for one another. 

If Christ is my It, my Who ... that means I get to love you unrelentingly, with grace, mercy and compassion.

"By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Choose It before It chooses you.

More Than Coffee...

My heart was full when my exhausted body hit the couch last night. It was only 9 pm.

I stayed for the after party, after Cross Points 6:30 service. A fall picking party of sorts, translation, fabulous music, food and fellowship.

The nino was doing some video and drone filming of the band... and it turned into a perfect fall evening in Nashville.

I considered the text from sweet friends, who after church were watching the Packers game at a local spot down the road. I love these friends and I knew it would be fun. 

I thought of the woman I call friend, who's husband is a coach for Green Bay. I was all in for rooting them on.

Yet, I had an early morning coffee with a friend.

Nessa, who I met last winter at a Cross Point connecting dinner. She sat at my table with friends and   she shared how glad she was to have found Cross Point.

As I was walking out the door later that evening, the parking lot mostly empty, I spotted Zach, a friend and pastor sitting with Nessa. He called me over and shared that Nessa had just found Jesus. 

I hugged Nessa as she explained she hadn't wanted to leave after the dinner. Instead she started cleaning up.

Zach spotted her and asked what she was doing. He continued to pursue the conversation, asking her if she was okay and then, "You want to sit and talk?"

"Yes" came her reply.

Zach is good at this.

Fast forward this morning. 

We sit on the patio at Crema overlooking the downtown skyline. The morning is crisp as the sun shows off behind me. We sip strong coffee, as Nessa shares her Buddhist background, in that it was a word associated with her name, her family, not a faith lived out. 

She mentions high school friends going to Bible study, talking about Christianity. 

She wasn't one of them... and was never invited to decide for herself.

When she found herself at Cross Point church she said it felt different. She felt different.

She didn't feel shame, instead joy.

The night of the dinner she told her friends to go home without her... as she remained standing in the large, now dark room where 350 people had gathered for a meal. She stood alone, feeling something stirring in her.

This room, a place to connect the Body of Christ. To grow community, disciple, transform. A place where new dreams come to life, and fears are laid down low, buried in the old.

She chose Christ that night and though the inward change came immediately, the journey would be continuous and daily.

She found herself driving to Cross Point some nights just to be close to where life changed. Where she found hope.

The tears start for me as she speaks.

This girl drove to a desolate parking lot in the middle of the night.

She was pursuing her Maker.

I told her I was sorry I hadn't been there for her.

She reassured me she doesn't make this drive now, recognizing that He lives in her heart and soul.

The journey of faith is incredible and unique for all of us. I watch as the Holy Spirit is stirring in Nessa as she shows me the Bible she bought. She is so excited.

She is hungry or Him.

God is good.

Nessa is pursuing God, because He is pursuing her.  

1 John 4:19, "We love because He first loved us." 

When we give ourselves to The One who created us, a spontaneous, mysterious shift occurs. Transformation of the heart...

When I witness this, I feel an uprising in my soul that is hard to express. It reminds me of why I am here in Nashville, alive, breathing.

I have the sweet opportunity to walk beside Nessa as she dives deep into the Word, the love story God wrote to her.

I thought we would have some coffee this morning.

Instead we had some living water.

The opportunities are all around us, when we turn to the left and the right...we will see thirsty people, if we take a moment to look.

Offer that drink. Get that coffee with someone God has allowed you to know. 

Don't miss the opportunity.

Nessa is going to change the world with her faith. One drink of water at a time.

Thank you Nessa for listening to that longing, that pull... that was drawing you close to God.

All joy it is to my soul.

You Are Enough....

  She followed me out of the store. I started the car, locked the doors, and checked my phone for messages. 

I looked up and saw her approaching, smiling. I put my window down. She told me she had seen me in the store, noticed my hair and wanted to compliment me. I was ready to share the names of Erin and Sarah, my stylists.

I thanked her and then she said...
"Can I ask you something personal?" I don't remember if I said yes, but she began a detailed, fast paced description of her marital situation. Honestly the words were falling so fast I couldn't keep up.  Separation, separate beds, back together, husband's desire to reconcile...

My first thought was, here we go, she is going to ask me for money. I figured there was a point to this one sided conversation. I have heard it all and sometimes even believe it, sometimes helping with some dollar bills.

Yet, that hadn't been my first thought when I saw her approach my car.
I listened and started to realize she was asking my opinion.
The opinion of a stranger.
She told me she had bought some lingerie and a candle and maybe she should buy some wine.
They had clearly been separated a long time and he wanted her back, all of her.

She was flustered, embarrassed really and said, "I don't know if this is enough, maybe I should buy a bottle of wine." Second time she mentioned the wine.

I looked at her, in her thrown together outfit and long, thinning dark hair, and I thought to myself, Woman, never in a million years did you think you would be standing here asking a total stranger about your love life. 

She doubted herself, was nervous about the intimacy aspect of reconciliation and was desperate for someone to speak into her. Even a stranger.

I looked her in the eyes and smiled. I said, "You are enough."
She mentioned the wine... again.
I said "You are enough. You are beautiful and you are enough."
She looked at me and started to tear up. She mouthed the words back to me.
You are enough. 
I said, "Don't forget that."

She backed away from the car and we said goodbye.
I caught my breath and reached a hand to wipe my wet eyes. .

Later I wished I had done more. Made sure she was okay, invited her to Known. I wish I had given her a card. I wish I had turned off the car, taken her to lunch.

I wished she knew she was enough.

Friends, we are enough. Right where we stand this moment. Too fat, too skinny, too young, too old, too loud, too quiet. We Are Enough. 

You Are Enough. Never forget that and know that your Father God loves you... Just Like You Are.

Leading Well In The Polls And In Your Hood...

Leadership haunts me, wakes me up at night, reminds me of my words... usually where I've failed. 

I follow leaders, hang on their words, mulling them over, deciding if they equal leading well to me. 

We are all leaders in some form. 

The sooner we recognize that, the less opportunity to trounce on people's dreams and failures, realizing later the horrific damage we offer through our words and actions. 

We told our kids growing up, be a Jeter. Translation... be a leader. 

Any baseball fan, regardless of favorite team... i.e. hatred for N.Y. will acknowledge Jeter's leadership. 

Leaders are influencers. They draw people. They create energy. They build platforms. They change the status quo, the game, the direction.

Look at Kanye. Okay, maybe don't look. 

We can lead for good or bad, but we will all lead.

Trump is leading in the poles. 

I don't even have words for that. 

My take away... people are desperate for a leader to follow.

Many times, they don't know what they believe and will follow anyone with a new idea.

That does not a good leader make. 

It's just different and different does not equal positive leadership.  

It's just different. 

See above... Kanye and Trump. 

Now there's a team.

Notice, we did not say be a Kanye to our offspring. 

Not hating... just saying. 

The most important role in good leadership is to love your people. 

Leaders love. 

Military, business, pastoral, teachers, parentals... you have to love and care for your people in order to be effective. 

The saying, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care,"

is true... and people know.

I get that...

they may not be easy to love. 

Figure out a way.

See them as Jesus sees them. 

The same way He sees you.

Leaders initiate relationship.

Put your phone down, look around and recognize it's not all about you. 

Okay, none of this is about you. 

It's about the people around you.  

Leaders laugh at themselves. 

Have a sense of humor...

please for sake of the rest of humanity.

Leaders want to hear from you before they speak. 

This is hard, but just DO IT.

There are actually other good ideas besides your own.

Leaders understand that we must learn to disagree in healthy constructs, allowing others to speak without fear of retribution.

Listen to others and allow for tension. 

Tension is NOT bad. 

It is a process that can lead to growth.

Leaders recognize different personalities call for different approaches.

We are not a one size fits all group of humans. Take a breath and figure out what makes each of us tick. We will all get along so much better.

Instead of pushing people into our square box, 

recognize we actually all live under a circus tent and we all get a turn at being the clown.

Leaders are humble.

Write this ten times. 

And again.

But really, arrogance and pride are ugly.

I once had a boss... first time I met him was at a combined meeting of our thirteen centers.

He began by berating his staff, all women. 

I saw pride.

The words, "Pride cometh before the fall," fell from my mouth...

 almost out loud. 

I disliked him in five seconds and told my immediate boss that his time was limited. I could sense his arrogance and it stunk up the room. 

No one spoke from fear as he shamed with his words. I looked around at these amazing women, their heads down, crushed spirits.

I wanted to get up and punch him in the throat.

I didn't think that would fare well as our introduction, so I refrained.

Within a year he was removed, I will spare you the gory details. 

Leaders are humble.... I have never forgotten this.   

Leaders do not fight every battle.

I am a fighter for people. 

I will err on the side of love for people. 

Everyday.

 Do for them, feed them... every time you see them. Clothe them, fill them up. 

Love them too much.

Overdo it! 

That is what Jesus did! 

Because you know what????

You CAN'T overdo it. 

Not by His standards. 

But...

I can't fight every battle, because I will lose the war.

 At the end of the day, I want to win the war.

The war for people.

So there are times you are going to do things I don't agree with, and somehow I am going to have to stick a sock in it.  

But I can still think it is dumb, and wonder why you don't get it. 

 I'll pray for you brother. 

Get on my level.

 But really, don't fight every battle.

Never lose the relationship with someone over proving a point. 

As one of my favorite Texan women (Jen H.) would say, that's just jackassery. 

At the end of the day, I am not so concerned that you like me, but that you respect me. 

So, I will try not to be a jackass.

Leaders desire others to reach their potential. 

Leaders cause others to rise up, becoming leaders. We hold this torch lightly, recognizing what we are creating will be held in someone elses embrace... sooner than later.

Leaders push and stretch others, causing a tide that rises, bringing new ideas and unlimited potential. 

We mentor. 

We release control, as we build new leaders. 

Hold things lightly... they are from above. 

You don't own them. 

God simply used a willing vessel. 

Stay willing.

Leaders are sensitive, yet strong.

Don't beat others up.

Don't be a wishy washy, people pleaser. 

Listen, validate, be willing to compromise....

but never integrity or credibility. 

Leaders have integrity. 

Be careful of your words and actions. 

One silly word or action will kill your credibilty.

There is NO substitute for your integrity and character.  

A leader is dead in the water without these. 

See the sharks circling.

Go home. 

Order a pizza and start House Of Cards on Netflix,

because your hand just folded. 

Game over. 

A leaders role is to serve. 

Not to be served.

Look at Jesus time on earth. He served in the humblest of ways.

He washed the filthy feet of men the night before he was betrayed by one of them, beaten and hung on a cross by all of them. 

We all are guilty of His death. Our sin put Him there, yet He chose to die for us, because He loves us that much.

Christ is our ultimate leader. 

Our example. Our goal. 

You can read all the leadership manuals you can gather in your arms, but unless you look to the Messiah you will miss true leadership. 

Leaders never stop learning from others. 

I always say,

"I never learned anything new when I was talking."

Leadership is for all of us. 

Because we keep learning, our list will grow.

What does your list look like?

Make me a better leader. 

And for the sake of our nation... pay attention to the leaders around you and don't vote for you know who.

Brought to you by concerned parents everywhere.

Known Community...

 

We grow up known as someone's daughter, sister, girlfriend, roommate, best friend, wife, mother.

We have tags added to our names, adding up over the years and yet many of us are not known... for who we are, deep inside.

Most will never know our deepest desires, dreams, fears.

It's easy to do, hiding behind our tee shirts with words claiming freedom and love. Keys around our necks holding big words, or beliefs someone has suggested we should claim.

Being known is scary.

What if people reject us once they know us?

Once we shed the layers?

I have had the opportunity a few times to be known.

My hometown, where I was a daughter, sister, wife, mama, young widow. 

 I was only half known. Too young, too broken. Still crawling to freedom.

Then a new town where I grew deep friendships, because I was allowed and challenged by many to be known.

I started to see that my deepest longing was to be known as God's daughter.

My purpose was only fulfilled when I looked upward, not inward.

Words put to music are a flame to my deepest soul craving. 

Sometimes I struggle to find my own words.

When I hear my favorite boy band, Needtobreathe, the words from Brother, More Heart, Less Attack, Multiplied, Washed By The Water, The Heat and so many others... I am gut checked.

These deep truths echoed in gravely voices, cut me... in ways that remind me and point me, to what I am about, what I believe, what I crave.

Relationships that leave me raw, because truth is shared. 

Truth isn't neat and tidy, wrapped in a bow. 

It's not always pretty, yet so much better than lies wrapped in pretty paper. When we open those, they crumble in our hands, like old newspaper, leaving us dirty and smudged from time and wear.

Two more moves for me, the first I liken to my time in the desert. Was it worth the effort to be known? Who cared to know me? Looking back, there are a few sweet ones who did care and were my lifelines. 
God and I grew deep roots, me mostly miserable, Him reminding me of His faithfulness. 

Then the move to Nashville. 

As I took steps into this new chapter I looked up, holding my hands wide open. I knew He was faithful and I was confident He was not done with me.

I claim my confidence in Him. I claim all of it, gifts, wisdom, integrity, passion... all of it is from above. 

None of it from me.

None.

A month later, I remember standing at my sink one morning. I spoke out loud to Him (God) suggesting that we were good, but I needed more. Really. I suggested he bring women into my life, to grow community with.

It was time. The final box of unnecessary, but pretty items I surround myself with had been opened.

Time to move on, to the worthy.

Within days things changed. 

And now, looking back over sixteen months... I am in awe.

Awe of what God is willing to do, desires to do and loves to do, for His daughters.

He has created a beautiful space of love, grace, safety. 

A place where we can be known, because it matters. It matters that we become the sisters, friends, daughters, He has called us to.

To be the leaders, movers, game changers He offers us to be.

When we enter into relationship and become known...

we gain Freedom.

Freedom allows us to do ALL that He calls us to.

I believe this community of #KnownNashville is a pleasing aroma to God.

A community of women from diverse backgrounds, where we share this journey of faith, find our voice and calling.

A place to be known and loved.

To walk this journey together is a gift. 

Each of us has the opportunity to offer this gift to those we walk alongside. 

The truth is...

We all want to be included. 

We all want to be valued.

We all want to be loved.

This moment, this space is a stepping stone into community.

Community being built through monthly gatherings and small organic groups we are already witnessing. 

A place where in the words of Henri Nouwen we believe, "The better we tell our stories, the better we will want to live them." 

The story that God is writing for us.

Friends, you are game changers and this God ordained moment is rich with opportunity and blessings. Don't miss it.

Pass it on.  

Let's be game changers for the women of Nashville.

Friends, thank you for being willing.

Willing to walk in the doors each month. Willing to breath deep and share your wisdom.  

Willing to bring friends who are hungry for this. 

Willing to be known.

You are loved.