I have five months left to live "day to day life" in Champaign.
I remember when the process of relocating began, a year and a half ago. It loomed far away and now I am trying to push it back, while also pulling it close. Yes, I want my cake and eat it too.
There will come a day, very soon when I will not want to get out of bed. I will say good bye on that day.
I think I would like to skip that day... just go to the next day please.
Even though I have wonderful things waiting for me, they are unknown... and far away.
I have many proven wonderful things here, new every morning.
I will enjoy spring in Champaign.
I will sit in my back garden with coffee, devotional and journal. The birds will sing me a new song while splashing in the birdbath.
I will listen to the children next door make up rules to their games, laughing and squealing with no thought of time or worry.
Later, as darkness approaches their mamas will call to them, telling them they must come in, it's dark for goodness sake.
Is there really a better sound than children's laughter? We forget how to play and their summer sounds remind me of that and take me back to sweet, simple times.
My puppy and I will wander down to Clark Park twice a day. She will smell the scent of the many dogs who have traveled this path before her.
I will notice the children in little clumps playing, their mamas in little clumps talking.
Summer comes quickly on the heels of Spring, at least in Champaign. I will open my windows and smell the clean fresh air of my neighborhood. The sounds and smells of summer will fill my cottage and the rumble of nearby lawnmowers will make me smile. Ah, the smell of fresh cut grass is soon to follow.
My children will be home. We will talk about the shaved ice trucks and when will they arrive. Which flavor should we try first. We will go to Cozies or maybe Jarlings.... might be healthier. Healthy, schmelthy.... we are talking ice cream here. Just depends if you want cold fudge or hot fudge... Hmm, we may have to visit both.
We will order pizza from Vinny's once a week and we will visit Hickory River often. Oh my... what will we do without that place?!
We will go the concerts in the park and reminisce of the days we would meet up with friends and all of our little ones. Packing snacks, bug spray, blankets and jackets. Hmm, now days we might take a chair.
Maybe we will go to the Fourth of July parade and even the fireworks... though I am still disappointed they moved them from our beloved stadium. The stadium is where we went our first year in Champaign when our 4 yr old son went missing as darkness approached and the fireworks were about to begin. We found him within a few minutes.... the longest few minutes of his mamas life.
A moment I will never forget and will be sure to share with his children.
We will wander around campus, enjoying a few places that are just a little more fun, with a few less people.
Our backyard will be a place we celebrate the sons High school graduation. Our friends will gather and secretly, it will be a moment for me to look at the blessings in my life. These people who make up my community. I will cry inside and know life will never be the same.
I will celebrate these people I love as well as this son, whom I am so proud of.
The summer will be busy. There are jobs and trips, beginnings and endings. I will savor every moment and hide them away in my heart. A comfort for later, to warm me when the chill of the unfamiliar creeps in.
No worries I will say. We do not go into unchartered territories alone. We have faith and we have friends. What more is really necessary to live well? Nothing I say. It is true. To have been loved by people and to share the joys and sorrows of this life. What a blessing that is.