Mar 26, 2014

Will I Remain A Dreamer Or Become A Decison Maker?

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

  I've been silent on my blog for a month. 
I imagine if you ask those around me they would tell you I've been far from silent. 
More like a vocal, physical tornado. 
Moving does that to me.
Three weeks ago we moved and there were moments I wondered what we had done. 
What had possessed us to live in two places, the hubs working in one, and setting up house in another... state that is.
My state of mind was at times questionable.

Why did we do this you ask? Simple, yet hard, complicated and confusing to many.
We love our kids and felt called to make a home nearer to them... without the fly over, helicopter part.
They are after all, grown up people who do not need day to day interaction from mommy and daddy.
So far this has been a success. 
We have been blessed and hopefully been a blessing to them and others who have walked through our doors.

Still, it has been exhausting and not without cost, financially but also emotionally and physically. 
Even spiritually.
It has made me sit back, sometimes losing sleep asking myself hard questions.
Why are we doing this? 
Is it right? Is it of God and what will we make of it? 
Will we find a Godly purpose in this move?
Will we be a pleasing aroma to Him?
Important questions.

I said that we moved to be closer to our kids. But there is more.
There is a call on our lives, each of us.... but we must pursue it, purposefully. 
To seek the things of God. 
That is my call...
and what that looks like changes depending on the season of my life.
The same is true for you.

On Sunday, I listened to Pete at Cross Point Church talk about the five phases of faith. 
A dream. A decision. A delay. A difficulty. Deliverance.
I get these. I've thought on these, experienced these and I understand the reality that out of ten dreamers, only one may become a decision maker. 
Pete shared a truth I needed to be reminded of. 

So here in our new home, new community, new opportunities, I am reminded.... of this truth about dreamers.
Will I be a dreamer, contemplating but never acting... or will I go after the things of God? 

 Case in point. Last week I had... a vision. Okay, it wasn't a vision like old testament vision. But it was a moment that I heard from God. He showed me a picture, it included small groups of women, in my home. It looked like a retreat, a time to stretch, grow, build and encourage leaders.
My heart soared.
I texted my husband.
I wanted accountability in this and I needed to share this gem from God.
It was you God, right?

Fast forward a week. A friend came to visit. We went to church. She heard the same message from Pete. We went to lunch. She said, "Dale you need to have retreats at your home....." she went on with a few ideas. 
I looked at her, stunned. 
This was a moment of confirmation.
This is something I look for when asking is this from God.
If I can see this line up with scripture then I am probably on to something from Him.
Still I wait.
No need to rush. 
This is in it's infancy. It needs to grow, develop, in order to sustain life and flourish.
I have no idea what this will look like but I trust God does.

 I learned through our last move to wait, to be quiet before Him. 
 I would rather be still before God, than move without His guidance. 
God has a plan and it is good. Always. 
He is not ususally in a hurry, unlike me.
 He showed up in Wichita with a few key people who blessed me and sustained me through the quiet, sometimes surprisingly lonely days.

God removed me from everything and everyone I did life with, leaving me feeling vulnerable, unsure of my next move.
He continued to grow deep roots, though sometimes I felt toppled over by the winds of change.
I doubted whether my roots were strong enough, deep enough to sustain me. 
I was humbled by not being known. 
Think about it. 
We all want to be known... by someone.
I saw truths about myself and asked myself the question....
"Who do you want to be and what do you want to be known for?"
"God... I want to be known as your daughter and I want people to see You, through me. I want to be grace to others."

Pete said something I remind myself repeatedly..."God cares more about my character than my comfort."
To go after the things of God I will become uncomfortable.
                                                                   There is simply no getting around this truth.
So here I am.
Will I be a dreamer or a decison maker?
Will I wait on Him for the next move or go before Him?
Oh Lord, direct my path and may I glorify You.

To be continued....

How about you?
What's your vision?
Share it with me and trust Him to direct.
It will be a great ride.
But remember to go from dreaming to deciding.



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