My written words come slowly. Seeking His face each morning, asking to see Him new, filling me with His Spirit, so I will understand. That words will find themselves on paper. I plead with Him to keep me from my foolish ways, remaining silent, I wait. There has been a long silence. I am okay with this.
My thoughts are full, but there is a place inside me, that recognizes when I ask to write His truth, it is like asking to understand the night sky or the intricacies of a baby growing in her mother's womb.
My words are inadequate to Whom I speak of.
Asking to speak the truth of the God of the universe, I am humbled, bowed low to think how dare I. We speak so easily of the One who made all, knows the hairs on my head, the breaths I will take, the One Who gave His body up for us. In return we throw around His name as a cast off sweater, taking it on and off as the need arises, always our need... no thought to the cost.
Many mornings I have started to write of the wonders He has shown me this year. Wonders in the way of people. The way I count wonders.
The wonders who nurture me, fill me with hope. The names grow and I am every time... every single time... changed. My joy is increased. He has shown me His steadfast love through those He brings my way. My joy, hope and resolve for this life is increased when a new wonder enters my world.
Yet, I hold back because words are inadequate to explain who He is and what He has done for me. The season of Easter brings Him so close, the pain, the gift, the joy. All because of me and also for me. This morning I read...
"Yet, He himself bore our sickness, and He carried our pains; but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities, punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds.
We all went astray like sheep; we have all turned to our own way; and the Lord has punished Him for the iniquity of all of us."
Then I read...
Luke 23: 33-38
"Then Jesus said, "Father forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing. And they divided His clothes and cast lots. The people stood watching and even the leaders kept scoffing: "He saved others, let Him save himself if this is God's Messiah, the Chosen One! The soldiers also mocked Him. They came offering Him sour wine and said, "If you are King of the Jews, save yourself!"
An inscription was above Him:
This Is The King Of The Jews."
I am speechless my friend. How do I begin to write what He has done for me, saved me, protected me, provided for me, in this life, this day?
In this year... when all things were new and scary?
When my needs and hopes were met by Him, because He cares for His daughter.
He died for my sins and I still turn my back on Him in my selfishness more times than I will ever admit.
The King Of The Jews loves me... His daughter. He hears every word I cry out to Him and each morning I have new hope and joy because of the Truth that He is who He says He is... and that horrible cross that held His mangled body was real.
And then I read Matthew 25:40 where Jesus talks of taking care of one another.
"Truly I tell you what you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
And I remember...
why He gives us voice.
To love, encourage, nurture, set free,
those He brings along our path.
Friends, we are free to live in Him.
Free from death, anguish and uncertainty.
And then... I remember,
I must live these words He left us.
Or I do not truly believe in Him or His ways.
Oh... dear God,
how I have failed You,
when you have never once failed me, turned away from me, only.... always giving me more.
More hope, more joy, more of You.
As I think of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday, may I bow down in humble gratitude for what my Savior has done for me.
May I think on the words He shared with us, calling us to be changed because of His sacrifice.
Sacrifice demands change. His sacrifice changed the world and conquered death.
His sacrifice deserves a change in me.
May I think on the Wonder of Jesus each morning and remember why.
The King Of The Jews Loves Me... and You.