Treading Water

Distractions.

 They call from email, text messages, Facebook, sometimes even my phone. 

They are constant, like the prairie wind I found when we moved west years ago.

Over time they erode my perspective and desires,

like dirt that blows off the fields in spring. 

Before I know it I have fallen into the pot of self doubt and comparison.

It's not a far fall really. More like a hop, skip and jump.

It's not that I want to crawl back in that boat I jumped out of years ago.

 I simply forget the direction I am swimming in.

 I trade swimming for treading water.

Treading water is a dangerous place for me. 

Treading water is like drowning.

It's boring, tiring and I'm not going anywhere.

Three things I dislike.

Niggling in the back of my mind or soul is the answer.

I know it's there. I just refuse it... for a moment. 

 A moment can be long.

Then I start taking in water and I grab hold.

I look up. 

I open the pages and I breathe in.

Literally, somedays this is what it feels like.

God does not make this hard. 

He knows who He created.

I am a simple woman.

I am broken and bruised.

I forget the beauty around me and trade it in for distractions that many times include videos of puppies, kittens and monkeys.

But the moment... sometimes the second I dig in, He is there. Like the calm in the storm, He whispers to me, and my hope is renewed and I swear I will never forget again.

But I will.

And He will be there. 

But in this moment, I am never more thankful for His abiding love and mercy on my life.

A simple woman with a simple faith in an amazing God.