Mar 27, 2012

How To Make The Pieces Fit

Change, adventure, new ideas and thoughts, possibilities... they can throw you. 
Finding the steady course through the change can be difficult. 
This week has been that type of week. 
I am married to a guy who can make fast decisions. He has to... it makes him good at what he does. 
He can also look at the possibilities and tries not to use the word no.
This helps me... I don't like that word either.

We have kids who are students in college. 
Life changes from day to day and we need to be on our game. 
We claim the word adventure... refusing to roll into a ball and cry when the winds of change blow our way.
 We don't always embrace it, but we do try and see the blessing that may be there..... hiding under the fear that wants to steal from us.
We hate fear... passionately.

The week...
It has taken a new turn, a more complicated turn. 
I am with my kids, watching track meets, hearing their joys, their concerns, their goals, enjoying life with them, moments at a time.
They are being shaped... God lives here, this is His job. 
I have put Him in charge... 
I don't want this job.
 He and I Talk. A. Lot.

We consider the permanence of these lives staying here, in their town, in their grown up lives, finding their way.
Where will they live, will they find jobs to support them?
Many unknowns.
They still need me. I smile.
I don't have all the answers, but I know it will be okay.
I remind myself I am not in charge.

A man asked me today where I live and I seriously struggled with that question. I told him I live all over the place. I don't think I lied.
I have become a Bedouin, a gypsy. 
I go where I am needed and help smooth the path.
I am blessed to do this.
I am here. 

Some days I can't make the pieces to my puzzle fit. I try and jam pieces together that clearly don't belong. 
I am slowly learning to let go..... give it to Him, recognizing God is in the details of my life.
He cares about all that happens to me... He wants the best for my life, while I am usually fighting for second class... I think that's what I deserve.

Be Still and Know That I Am God.- Psalm 46:10

It's so simple really.  
God, thank you for being my Go To Guy. 
This life is yours. 
Have Your way.

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